You have heard all your life to forgive and forget. It helps you to move on with your life as well as keeps friends you may have lost. However, it isn’t always an easy policy. The memories tend to stick even if you say you will forget. It would be great if we could erase these bad memories of what people have done, but that just isn’t possible.
You may be willing to forgive, but find it hard to forget. If this is the case, then concentrate on the forgiveness. Time needs to pass before you can get to the point of forgetting or at least, making the issue less important in your mind. Forgiving may be enough to get you to move on with your life.
When you do forgive someone, make sure you don’t bring up the issue over and over again. If you do, then you haven’t truly forgiven the other person. If you can’t forgive, then be honest. Express your need for more time. Tell them you are willing to explore it again sometime in the future.
Some people may not be worth the trouble of forgiving and forgetting. If someone you know is not dependable and never was, they are going to continue to let you down. So why go through the trouble of forgiving them, let alone forgetting? You may even still choose to associate with the person but without trusting what they will do. However, this can be emotionally draining for you, and it may be best to sever all ties.
Above all, be honest with people. Don’t fake forgiveness and then go around talking behind that person’s back. You then lower yourself to their level. If you are hurting because of their actions, and they are asking for forgiveness, be sincere about how you proceed. You may hurt someone’s feelings by stating that you don’t forgive them. But, you will do far worse if you pretend that you have when you haven’t.
Although you may never forget, you will get to the point where it is no longer worth your trouble to worry. It takes energy to focus on the past. Why drain that power when you can put it to great use in more positive ways? You’ll feel better, and everyone around you will feel better. The person you are trying to forgive will also benefit.