There’s a reason why Neil Sedaka wrote the song, ‘Breaking Up is Hard to Do’ and that reason is it’s true. Imagine spending a portion of your life with someone in an intimate way. Then, the relation is defunct after one of the people in the relationship says it’s over. That can be devastating, especially when it is unexpected.
Even when the break up is mutual, the emotional turmoil can last for quite some time. It can take months (and even years) for people to get over the situation. It helps to find someone new. However, you don’t want to do this too quickly after a breakup. That is called the rebound effect, and you may not be over your previous relationship which can have a negative impact on future ones.
Give yourself time to come to grips with the situation. But, know that life goes on and that someday you will find another person. Hopefully, this person will be a better match.
Some people simply need time away. After a few months, it’s possible that your partner will return and want to rekindle the relationship. However, don’t lose sight of the fact that the break up occurred. There could be more to the situation, and you need to realize this. It may be difficult for you to forgive the person. If that is the case, you may want to detach yourself from him or her, no matter how difficult that may seem.
How will you know when it’s time to put yourself out there to others? Often, this takes care of itself by meeting people without the intent of hooking up. Don’t try too hard as others will pick up on this desperation. Simply look for friends and start hanging out with people.
Talking to others about your break up is okay. However, don’t let it consume you and become an obsession. If you enter into a new relationship and all you can talk about is your old relationship, this can be a sign that you aren’t ready to move on. Think of it from the perspective of your new partner. Would you want someone who was constantly talking about his or her old flame? There’s a pretty good chance you won’t.
When you are ready to move on to new relationships, take care when reaching out online. People can pretend to be whoever they want online which means they aren’t always truthful. That can end up hurting you in the end.