You may remember the song by Mike and the Mechanics called, In the Living Years, released in 1988. It was a beautiful song often played on radio stations at the time. Some would say it became overplayed. But, this is what usually happens with beautiful songs.
The message of the song is that if we wait until people die, we won’t be able to tell them what they mean to us and that we love them. Also, the chorus mentions about admitting to not seeing eye to eye. We can only do this when we are alive. The song seems directed at parent/adult children relationships. However, it’s appropriate for anyone who you are or have been close with, including family and friends.
By holding onto the past and carrying grudges, you risk not being able to try to make things right while you both are still living. You always think you have tomorrow to do it. However, one day you find that the other person is no longer with you. Life truly is as short as people say it is.
What many people find when they talk things out, is they can’t remember what got them upset in the first place. It becomes trivial. Think about a time when you and a family member or friend put aside your differences. You may have gotten a good laugh about how it all came to be. That often happens in these types of situations.
Our family is all we have in the world. Even as friends come and go, we need the support of our families. While work and community obligations are important, try to make time to see your family as often as you can. That’s obviously tougher when families are apart due to their physical location. But, even families who are geographically close to each other often don’t visit as much as they should.
When you do get together, and you don’t tend to see eye-to-eye with certain members of your family, try to keep the conversations away from sensitive areas. For instance, if you have differences of opinion regarding politics, try talking sports instead. If you get onto sensitive subjects, try to keep the conversations respectful. Consider all views and keep an open mind. The phrase, “agree to disagree” is a great one to diffuse these volatile situations.
If pride is getting in the way of speaking with a family member, try to cast it aside. It could be just the right instance to get something wonderful going once again.