We all fall into behavior patterns that make our life easier. Validation is one of those things which is especially rewarding. After all, who doesn’t want to know they fit in, or how much their contributions are appreciated? This is especially true at work.
The problem is validation-seeking has its drawbacks. Most of the behaviors associated with this kind of attention-getting will leave you feeling overworked, insecure, and otherwise uncertain. It’s hard to feel confident without an audience’s applause to let you know you’re doing okay.
Even worse is how your coworkers react to validation. Most of them know what you’re doing (mostly because they’re doing it too), and very few appreciate it. It certainly won’t move you towards promotion anytime soon.
To break this cycle and to feel more confident, why not try any of these actions to help you get ahead instead:
Embrace Disaster
Okay, things sometimes go wrong. This can be expected. But the validation-seeker will likely turn tail and run the moment things blow up, mostly because they don’t want to be associated with failure. To break this pattern, hold your ground. Acknowledge your part in what went wrong and show a willingness to learn and, even more, important to try again. This shows leadership and responsibility.
Show You Can Grow
Validation-seekers will pretend to know everything to seem impressive. Isn’t it better, though, to admit when you don’t know something and ask for guidance instead? This willingness to be taught new things, embrace change and accept mentorship all show a growth mindset that looks good in the long run.
Show What You’re Made Of
The validation-seeker will want to show how agreeable they are with those over them, which means an extra effort not to rock the boat or question established practices. While this mindset is generally valued because it makes you a strong worker, it doesn’t leave room for growth. Isn’t it better to speak up when you see a better way or offer an innovative and creative solution? The ability to think outside the box makes you really stand out from the rest.
Be a Mentor
When you’re seeking validation, it’s common to want to make sure the world sees you shine. Mentors, though, help others to reach their full potential. Imagine how good it feels to see someone you’ve guided through the process truly succeed.
Who needs validation when you have this?
All in all, the best part of losing the idea of needing to be validated is how much it gives you room to grow and realize your own potential. You start to see your own value, which is more important than what anyone else could ever think.
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