“Love is the most critical ingredient for everything in your life”
Dr. Veronica Anderson, Host, Functional Medicine Specialist and Medical Intuitive interviews Wendy Darling on how to master love in your relationship.
Is your love life missing something? Recognized relationship and transformational change expert Wendy Darling helps others gently remove the internal mental and emotional barriers that have interfered and held them back, while repositioning them to close the gap to finally be living the life of their dreams.
In this episode, Wendy will share how she changed her life through methods like singing and meditation. She also talks about how to shift your health and attract love, common relationships issues and why you should speak out when problems arise. Listen to the end, for simple ways you can live a happier and more fulfilling relationship.
Listen to episode 29 on iTunes here or subscribe on your favorite podcast app.
29: Show Notes
Dr. Veronica Anderson’s Links
07:40 – Medical intuitive readings
09:15 – Wendy’s background
10:44 – Falling 25ft
12:40 – Learning meditation & Singing
15:03 – Shifting your health and attracting love
18:30 – Common relationship issues
21:00 – Simple exercises for couples
22:50 – 5 love languages
23:45 – Speaking out on problems
Female VO: Welcome to the Wellness Revolution Podcast, the radio show all about wellness in your mind, body, spirit, personal growth, sex, and relationships. Stay tuned for weekly interviews featuring guests that have achieved physical, mental, and spiritual health in their lives.
If you’d like to have access to our entire back catalog visit drveronica.com for instant access. Here’s your host, Dr. Veronica.
Dr. Veronica: And this is Dr. Veronica, medical doctor and medical intuitive, and you’re going to get to meet one of the people that made me out loud say that I’m a medical intuitive. And she has some miraculous stuff to share with you today. But before I say that I’m going to tell you, you can find the episodes on demand.
Also if you would like to get to me, I love people to talk to me, social media, Twitter, @DrVeronicaEyeMD, Facebook me, Dr. Veronica Anderson. Send me notes on LinkedIn. Send me notes on my website, through my blog. I’d like to hear what you have to say.
And so on Wellness for the Real World we talk about matters related to all kinds of health and wellness, spiritual, emotional, physical. You hear a mix of different strategies to keep your life going well. And so we’re going to have a really fun show today because we’re going to talk to Wendy Darling. I know what you’re saying, “Wendy Darling? You’re going to talk to Peter Pan people?”
We’re doing this because this is part of my loving family that’s new to me. Russell’s been with me for a little co-hosting for you people who have switched over from internet radio to broadcast radio. Al Brook’s is my new godfather here. He’s the producer. He has this wonderful voice. He’s been in radio a long time. Yes, he’s my godfather. So are you going to say, “Hi Al to everybody?”
Al: Hi Al to everybody.
Dr. Veronica: Do you hear that beautiful voice? I work with these men who have these wonderful voices, who are so talented? Why is that important? Because you’re listening to my voice here. And I’ve realized that the voice which carries certain vibrations too. You listen to people who are wonderful singers. There’s not enough of those these days especially in popular music.
But why do people like Adele so much? Because the vibrations of her voice make us all feel really good, and that’s important. When you listen to Al, and you listen to Russell, it’s important. But also Wendy Darling, who is not Peter Pan Wendy Darling. She is more than that. You’re going to find that out. She’s the opposite of the Wendy Darling of Peter Pan, like 180 degrees. She uses her voice to be able to help people.
I also realize when I started in my internet days doing radio, people call me up and say, “Oh my god, I really love listening to your voice. There’s something about just listening to your voice I love.” And I started realizing that the vibrations in my voice somehow can help change people’s physiology.
And so in my work now I will actually make a recording for people, spoken word, I don’t sing particularly. I speak into them words. And part of what I’m saying plus the vibrations in my voice helps people’s physiology change. And so this is a type of sound therapy.
If you say that’s so hokey. It doesn’t work. Do your research. I’m not going to sit here and give you all that kind of stuff because that is just so boring. And you can go to the university of Google and find out all of that stuff out yourself. So we’re not going to talk about the technical aspects of why it works.
Wendy Darling, she’s a master of relationships and love. Relationships and love are so important to all of us. You talk to people and they say, “My health isn’t good because I’m in a toxic relationship. Or I’m really healthy because I’m in a good relationship.” This extends beyond just your romantic relationship and extends to your friends and family. And you can create the type of relationships that you want.
And I know experientially from working with Wendy that sometimes you work with her and it seems like she doesn’t really even do anything, and all of a sudden your relationship shifts just because you talked about it with her. It’s absolutely amazing.
But I got to give more of my story. As we go along and people are learning about me, I was working with Wendy as a business coach. And so she has the type of background that helps people, seriously, entrepreneurs in their careers.
And at one time Wendy was my coach. And Wendy was the person who said to me one day… I was saying I had this really interesting experience where somebody was texting me and they said, “Can you help me?” Because they realized I’m the face of the marketing of the company. People started to realize from around the world that I was a physician and they started to want to ask me health and medical questions.
They would say, “Can you help me?” And all of a sudden when they said, “Can you help me?” I would know exactly what’s wrong with them, like exactly. I could put a diagnosis on them. I’ll tell you now, as a medical intuitive, which she was the first person who gave me what that word was, because I was like, “I didn’t have any idea what I was doing. I just was doing it.” It was just coming to me, like, “Oh my god, this is interesting.”
And I realized that it’s been coming to me even back in medical school when there were difficult cases that came up and the professor couldn’t stop me with the case, that it’s likely how I was getting all the information. I could just see it and I knew it. It was just easy to me. It just floated into my system.
Yeah, I got good grades and I graduated with honors and all those pieces of paper that people like. But to be able to get the zebra diagnosis that other people couldn’t quite figure out. When I was practicing I have other doctors call me up and say, “How did you figure that out?” Nobody can figure out what was going on? How did you figure that out?” I’ll just say, “It’s obvious. Isn’t it obvious?”
I was using these abilities that I had. I just didn’t have a name for them and I was using it to help people. But then when she pointed out what it was I was like, “No way am I saying that because I’m from the medical world where it’s all based on study. And if you can’t prove it with a study I’m not talking about it.
Wendy was the first person who pointed out exactly what I was doing. And I want to give her props for that because I’m sitting here talking to you, telling people about it, doing readings for people, and uncovering information that they’ve been unable to uncover previously. Because it was Wendy Darling who coached me into talking about it, and even pointing out that it was something that could help people. Because I was doing this for people that were across the sea. I didn’t want to mention it, and I figured, “It’s no problem.” I’m going to give you the medical disclaimer right now because you know in America there are more lawyers than people.
Medical intuitive readings are not a medical diagnosis, medical treatment, or psychotherapy. And anything that you hear me say on Wellness for the Real World or the medical intuitive reading you must check with your health care provider. (They don’t know what you’re talking about anyway. And the reason why you’re sick and coming to me is because they’re doing a good job.) That was the medical disclaimer. I’m putting that in there.
You got to do that because people get all confused. When they mess themselves up, they want to blame somebody when they mess themselves up, and it’s really easy to blame doctors and things like that when you’re messed up. But you have to realize that you are messed up because you created something in your life and you don’t understand how you created it. Wellness for the Real World is for you to understand how you created something, even if it’s something you’ve been hurting yourself, how you created it and how to get out of it.
And so if you want to have a miraculous love life, you want to know Wendy Darling. You go to wendydarling.com. She’s not anything Peter Pan-ish. Wendy, welcome to Wellness for the Real World.
Wendy: Good morning, or whatever time it is in your part of the world. It’s morning in Southern California. And it’s true, I’m not related to Peter Pan.
Dr. Veronica: Wendy, we’re going to talk about your miraculous love in a moment. But tell us a little bit about your background, because we’re going to get over to the side that you’re really helping people now. But before you got into this you had a really highly esteemed career. Tell us about that.
Wendy: My life changed too. My undergraduate work, I was in education. My graduate work was in counseling and psychology. I have a couple of degrees. And then I have post graduate work in management and organizational development. I was Dean of Students for a semester at sea right out of graduate school which was a lot of fun. And also 37 years ago, which is just crazy, we had a reunion recently.
And then I was a management and organizational development consultant. I was an internal consultant for about seven years. I went out on my own, part-time starting in 1981. That was my life. I was travelling all over working with companies. It was in 1990 I believe that I just had a very serious accident. And that’s really when the trajectory of my life shifted dramatically.
Dr. Veronica: What happened at that point? Can you tell us more about what the accident was and how it did shift your life?
Wendy: We’ll do the CliffNotes version. I was flying to California. I was working with a Fortune 100 company at that time. And so I was flying from Dallas, Texas to Los Angeles, and I was really, really sick. Long story short I went outside of the airport to get some fresh air before my flight left. This was obviously before a lot of the things that we have to do today at airports.
Unfortunately I passed out, and I fell over a ledge, and I fell over 25 feet. I had pretty severe injuries. My right leg was severely shattered. It took multiple surgeries. And they didn’t know for over 10 months if I would even walk again. My back was broken. There were some other minor injuries. I was later diagnosed with a traumatic brain injury that took years. And I’m very blessed that my challenges today are fairly insignificant compared to what they could have been and had been.
During my first round in the hospital, which was about four weeks, my former husband also came and ended our marriage. He was and is an attorney. And when we went to court he was awarded full custody of our very young son at that time. As you might imagine it was an extraordinarily traumatic time. Everything that had formally been related to my identity was gone. My means of how I was working, my body, my marriage, my son, I was operating in such a clean slate it was a very, very challenging time.
And interestingly enough it was my mom, who’s a very traditional woman in many ways suggested that I learn how to meditate. Again, to just cut to the chase as I was learning how to do that, because at that time quieting my mind was an oxymoron. And every time I almost felt like my mind was going to start relaxing I felt this urge to sing. And the person who was teaching me said, “Well then sing.” And I started laughing because I said, “You don’t understand. I have people in my life that actually request I not do that.”
And so I sang. The gift in that moment, and a lot of moments after that was it began to relax my mind and my body. And it was a vehicle that was starting to heal me. And little by little at that time I was sharing a house with a good friend of mine. And she would come up to my room and I literally was in the closet doing this meditation and sound healing. And she was like, “Can I sit with you?”
Little by little it started getting out and people would start showing up. And I played with it and experimented with it. For whatever reason that is one of the vehicles that opens up for me to allow me to really tap into the people that I work with. That I’ve become extremely intuitive. I’m able to see energy. I’m able to know what to do about it. I can see where you’re blocked within you. And it doesn’t matter if you’re right in front of me or halfway across the world.
And I share this because I was not that girl before. I was just your regular, average, ordinary person. And suddenly I was seeing and able to do things. And it took quite a while for me to get comfortable with it. When I said I was in the closet with this, I was in the closet, and to come out feeling so very different.
But I saw the gift of what it provided for me. I started to see the gift of what I was able to offer others. And because I was digging at a such an extreme hole, my prayer back then was, “God, you help me dig out of this hole, I promise I will pay it forward.” And that’s what I did today. I’m able to shorten that learning curve for people that are really wanting so much more in their life. We have the information.
And even things that you and I do, Veronica, there’s becoming more research that’s backing up what we do. Obviously we do our things in different ways, but we know now that when you change the frequency of the mind and the emotions in the body it shifts. It will shift your health. It will clear the airwaves that you can attract love in your life, as you mentioned. It can shift the dynamic in an existing relationship. I can improve your work life. It impacts everything.
Now, I’m at a point where I’m like, “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe how lucky I am that I was given this gift. I don’t know why I was this lucky, but I’m not going to worry about that. Let me just get to as many people as I can.” Because really what’s behind everything that I do.
Even though I focus as an entry point to relationships of all different kinds, whether it’s for singles, couples, or even organizations, because I still do some corporate work, it takes people to a place of authenticity and freedom. And it helps you really materialize your dreams.
But then the deeper meaning for me is I want you, whoever you are, whatever your gifts are, to make a greater impact, to have more influence, to pay it forward so that you’re really making your mark in life ad influencing others in your own unique way. And it has that ripple effect. And so I believe love is the most critical ingredient for everything in your life.
Dr. Veronica: Love is absolutely the most critical in your life, next to gratitude. On Wellness for the Real World we want you to have more love in your life. And I hope when you listen to me, there’s people up there… If you don’t like me turn me off because I’m making you angry, and that’s not love. But if I am making you angry, how about you extend some love towards me, because I can feel it, and the rest of the world can feel it. And this is what we need more of today.
I don’t know what background you’re from, what religion you’re from. But there’s a famous quote in the bible, “Love your enemy.” Nobody gets credit for loving the people that love them. You don’t credit for loving people who don’t love you. And that’s what makes the world a better place. Love all around.
Wendy, let’s talk more about relationships. Some of the issues that you see that are common with people that you work with, what are some of those common blocks that you see people having?
Wendy: I think the most common is the place that exists in almost everyone that feels unlovable, that has been hurt from the past. And these hurt emotions are still living. If they’re not expressed, if they’re not dealt with, they still live within the human body.
And that’s why when couples get together, and your partner says something and you get activated, you get upset, it’s because they’ve touched something within you. And once we can actually start separating that out, decoding it a little bit, it’s amazing the transformation that can come into place. And that’s why when couples really learn how to listen to each other and not make it personal to them… I always say, if it’s coming out of the other person’s mouth it has nothing to do with you.
Dr. Veronica: That’s easier said than done.
Wendy: I know. I’m not saying that it’s easy. I’m just saying it’s true. And yet, when I help couples separate that out a little bit and really listen… It’s okay to listen to your partner and to state back, “I can appreciate that right now you’re really frustrated about ______.” And you can deal with that part of it. And you can also then say, “The difference is you keep it separate. And when I hear you say that it really hurts me because,” and you speak that.
What happens is it all gets mushed up and collapse. And people just start going, “I can’t believe you said that.” It’s like, wait, this is not working. One of the things that is the simplest thing to do with couples is to practice appreciation for each other. When a couple will first come and work with me, one of the very first exercises that I will recommend to all your listeners is that you have a daily practice of appreciation.
Because all too often couples, you get caught up in your day-to-day responsibilities. You’ve got this going on. If you have kids then that just adds a whole new dimension. And to just take time out, try to have it structured, because I believe when you have a certain time it’s a lot easier to keep those little dates. And just say, “What I really appreciate about you is…” And just say to her three things.
And then the second part that I also recommend is that to tell your partner, “And how you can support me right now is. Because we’re not mind readers, and don’t really know. Sometimes it could be as simple as how you could really support me is would you just hold me for a minute, would you just give me a hug? I’m tired. Today was rough. And yet it could be something else. Would you help me with the laundry? Would you let me just go into the bathroom. You take care with the kids and I’m going to spend the half hour in the bathtub and zone you guys out. I just need a time out.
That communication also keeps you connected. And that is so very important. Because I believe that when the irritation start showing up it’s more symptomatic of a disconnection. I’m a big believer in the five love languages. I think it’s a very easy way for people to identify how they feel loved. And a lot of people will have different love languages.
One partner is doing all this stuff. Maybe it acts as service. They’re doing everything for their spouse. But their partner has words of affirmation, and they’re not being told how wonderful they are. Again, it’s another great decoding process of how you can better connect and support each other. Because keeping the love alive is really important.
Dr. Veronica: Yes, it is. And I got to say, I’d like the appreciation of your spouse. And not just your partner, or whoever it is in your life, people around you, appreciate them and have gratitude that they’re there. One of the important pieces that I do specifically is I look for things that drive me bananas, and I look for those why. Because for most of us we chose the relationship and we choose to be in it or not be in it. And so if you’re in a relationship that’s driving you bananas you chose it generally. And so therefore there’s something you have to learn from that person that you’re in a relationship with.
Part of it is looking and saying, “What am I learning from this situation?” And just being grateful that… “I’m happy and grateful that you drive me bananas when you do XYZABC. Because what I’m learning about myself is…” You can turn it back and make it totally selfish. But what happens is you start appreciating that this person is there in your life for a particular reason right now.
And even if you’re in a horrible relationship, you need to realize that… Let’s say you’re in a horrible relationship and it’s abusive. Maybe you say, “I’m happy that I’m in a relationship because it’s making me realize that I’m stupid and I need to get out of this relationship. And so I’m thanking that you made me strong enough that I can now pick myself up and walk away.”
Get real dirty about what it could be. Somebody would say, “How could you say something like that?” But if he’s kicking your butt you need to get out of there. And nobody needs to tell you that. But appreciate that you got the strength to get out of there.
I have friends that have been in abusive relationships and they got the strength to walk away. They’re not even mad at that person because they found such a fabulous part of themselves in life, because that person did what they did. And realize that it’s part of your sole journey. And a lot of times, you may or not believe this, you picked it before you came in this life. You agreed to it before you came in this life, because your soul has something to learn.
Even for people… I need to just wiggle my relationship around to make it a little bit better. I’m one of those type of people. I’m blessed. I have gratitude that I just need to wiggle it around a bit. So the things I get irritated with are relatively small compared to somebody that’s in a relationship with somebody who’s abusive, or alcoholic, or a drug addict, or mentally ill. What all these other types of things that people go through that all of us on the outside would say are difficult.
Let me just say, the other piece of this, why do I have Wendy Darling on? I have her on because she doesn’t do what a psychologist does. You can go and lie on the coach and whine and complain. It’s not what it’s about. It’s about shifting. And Wendy’s able to help you shift in a different way. And if you want to have a better life. If your desire truly is to have a better life, you got to have somebody coaching you to that.
The reason why you’re stuck is because you cannot see the way out. So if you’re in a relationship and you want to make it better, and you cannot figure it out, people like Wendy Darling are there to help you figure out in a different type of way. Her singing works. Her counseling works. She gives different strategies that help you work to get better love.
Go to wendydarling.com. I’m going to thank Wendy for being on. We got to wrap up because our segments go so quickly always. I didn’t even let Russell drop in. Audience forgive me for not letting Russell jump in, but you know you’re going to hear from him again. Just go to on demand and you can listen to his voice.
Female VO: Thank you for listening to the Wellness Revolution Podcast. If you want to hear more on how to bring wellness into your life visit drveronica.com. See you all next week. Take care.
Dr. Veronica Anderson is an MD, Functional Medicine practitioner, Homeopath. and Medical Intuitive. As a national speaker and designer of the Functional Fix and Rejuvenation Journey programs, she helps people who feel like their doctors have failed them. She advocates science-based natural, holistic, and complementary treatments to address the root cause of disease. Dr. Veronica is a highly-sought guest on national television and syndicated radio and hosts her own radio show, Wellness for the REAL World, on FOX Sports 920 AM “the Jersey” on Mondays at 7:00 pm ET.