People Skills Improve Romance
A study, published in 1999, from the University of California examined social skills in romantic relationships (https://arizona.pure.elsevier.com/en/publications/social-skills-are-associated-with-satisfaction-in-close-relations). The study involved 65 couples who were married and 66 dating couples. The results showed that social skills were directly linked to the satisfaction of both parties in the relationship. Emotional support was the biggest point in determining satisfaction with the relationship. However, the results are clear. People with greater people skills had happier relationships.
Of course, this makes perfect sense, doesn’t it? When it comes to people skills, part of it is the ability to regulate emotions. Emotion regulation is an important part of managing long-term relationships and being able to communicate appropriately and efficiently. The health of a romantic relationship hinges on a couple’s ability to discuss problems as they arise. In order to discuss problems and resolve them, you have to have control over your emotions. Or, to at least know when to walk away and take a break from a conversation that is bubbling out of control.
A Lack of People Skills
If, in your relationship, you suppress your emotions so cover them up and make it so others are unable to recognize them, what do you think will happen? Your partner won’t really know what you’re thinking or feeling, and if you are going to lengths to cover that up, you likely aren’t going to be willing to talk about it either. You can see how this can affect the health of a long-term romantic relationship. It’s clear that your ability to regulate emotions is then a major component of people skills.
Just imagine a friend or partner who cannot control their anger. They become easily frustrated, and the dial moves from 0 to 100 as they react. They have no control over their emotions and they are a person that isn’t pleasant to be around. It’s possible that they have other strong people skills, but they don’t count for much if they are unable to regulate their emotions and communicate effectively. This isn’t something that you have to live with, though. It’s possible to learn how to regulate your emotions and improve your people skills. Suppressing your emotions negatively impacts social and romantic situations including first impressions right through your long-term romances.
It makes perfect sense that your people skills would play a large role in how you build romantic relationships. You don’t need to read dating books or even pick up self-help books. All you really need to improve your dating life (or your existing relationships) is some work on your people skills. You can start with ensuring that you maintain eye contact and give someone your full attention when they are speaking to you. The second most important part of building your people skills is active listening. Instead of figuring out how you will respond to what they’re talking about, just listen and let them have the space to talk. You will learn a lot more about them that way.
Thanks for reading,
~Veronica
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