Being a people-pleaser typically starts early in a person’s life. When a person is in the habit of pleasing others over their own needs, it is hard to break the habit when they enter a relationship. In these cases, the relationship can suffer, if not outright end.

Lack of Honest Communication

People-pleasers have an intense need to make other people like them, so when one enters a new relationship, they tend to agree with whatever the other person likes. When this happens, the communication between the two is based on dishonesty.

It is important to note that this doesn’t mean someone is taking advantage of a people-pleaser. Often, the partner of the people-pleaser has no idea how they really feel. How could they, if they have only been told what they want to hear?


Assumptions Based on Misunderstanding

In some relationships, it is normal to make some assumptions that end up being based on nothing. However, in the case of a relationship involving a people-pleaser, the assumptions can get out of control.

People-pleasers often assume they know what someone is thinking because they are always hyper-aware of other’s people feelings. This isn’t a bad thing per se, but it can lead to making big assumptions (often about how happy their partner is) that lead to big misunderstandings.


Unequal Partnership

There has to be compromise, and equal say for a relationship to work, especially with the important things. When a people pleaser is involved, the relationship tends to be more one-sided.

When the people-pleaser makes the sacrifices and does the lion’s share of the work within the relationship, it can end with resentment and unhappiness. When these feelings take hold, they do not typically recover.


Unspoken Boundaries Crossed

One of the indications of a people-pleaser is the tendency to not have any boundaries. This can be detrimental to a relationship. Boundaries are an important way to show that there is an equal partnership.

When there are no boundaries in a relationship, one person or the other will step over the line without knowing what they have done. This can lead to discord when the people-pleaser feels they have been taken advantage of.


Overall, when a person in the habit of pleasing others enters a relationship, it can have negative effects. If the people-pleasing behavior does not break, it can cause resentment and other bad feelings. If the habit continues, it can cause the relationship to end.

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